2nd Home - Water Street

Our 2nd home provided us with a little more room, but it was far from ideal. I didn't care much though. It was our home and we took care of it. We moved in Mid October, I had plenty of time during the day to get everything set up as Paul still had long days of work and school.
Things went smoothly for the first 2 month of Alyssa's life until mid January. Alyssa got a cold that just would not go away. Soon she was coughing non stop and so I took her into the doctor, I think I took her in 2 or 3 times before a test finally came back positive for RSV. She spent a few days in the hospital, received a blessing from my uncles, and came home a few days later attached to oxygen. It was quite an ordeal for 2 young parents, but we pulled through.
Money was tight and I finally let my pride down and went into the state building to find out about food stamps. I filled out all the info and after what seemed like a ton of paperwork we began receiving benefits to help out. I'm not sure how many months we were on, but I do know that we either moved and I never went into update our file, our it was time to renew or something and I hated the process, I hated the feelings of receiving the food stamps and I HATED going into the store and using them. I don't think we were on it for more than 6 months. We relied on Paul's work and WIC. He continually looked around for jobs that paid more and although he changed jobs a lot the first years of our marriage it was always a step up. He worked hard and we always had our needs met.

Alyssa is born

This home was also one room but it was bigger, and across the tracks from Paul's family. We moved in in October and just about the time I got everything unpacked and settled Our baby girl was born. Her due date was the 17th of November, but apparently she must have heard all the fun we were having on Halloween, and she felt it was time to join our family. We got home from a Halloween get together and were about to go to bed when I knew something was up. I hurt. After pacing some we felt we should head into the hospital. Knowing what I do now we had some time, but I was truly in labor. I remember getting there and getting settled into a room for observation and then calling my Mom, it was about 11:45 and Mom's first response was don't you have that baby on Halloween. I assured her it wouldn't happen that quick. Then I called Lynda. Lynda came in and sat with me all night - Paul was there too, but he mostly slept. In the early hours of the morning after complaining enough I got my epidural and spent most of my first labor in comfort. Lynda and I talked all night. At about 6am I got a call from my mom she was wondering if I was still there. I told her things had progressed nicely and that we thought I was getting close. Then she began to realize this was serious. It seems she thought I was too early and that the hospital would have sent me home. So after my call she just went to bed. She proceeded to rush over to the school throw together some lesson plans and made it into the hospital shortly before Alyssa's arrival. Alyssa was 6 lbs 4oz. She was so tiny, perfect and healthy. I stayed in hospital for 3 days and kept her with me much of that time.
I remember being so scared when we were released and putting her in the car. I couldn't believe they handed this baby to me and said see ya later, bye. Like I was a pro at this Mom stuff. I think Paul was nervous too he drove home so slow and careful. We stopped by the house for a few things, but headed out to stay with my Mom for the first week. Just so I could get some rest and help with the first few days. It was the beginning of a new adventure.

1st home - H ST

Paul and I rented a small one bedroom home on H ST in Idaho Falls. Paul continued to work at Wendy's, I had since quit working there and began several years of staying at home. Things might have been better financially if I had worked, but somehow I was always drawn to stay at home. We didn't attend church right off, but unexpectedly we were invited to the home of an elderly couple in our ward boundaries. It seems they had learned from their neighbor (Paul's Stepdad's Mother) that Paul had married a Mormon girl and they were going to pursue helping us feel comfortable in the ward. Of course the missionaries were at this dinner and so just weeks after our marriage Paul began the missionary discussions. The first job the missionaries felt needing addressed was his smoking. I had no problem with this. Paul never smoked around me he knew I didn't like it, and I made him shower, brush his teeth and swish with mouth wash before he got hugs and kisses when he got home from work every night. It was awesome he took the challenge and in September, 2 months after our wedding he quit cold turkey and never went back. Soon after the missionaries asked about baptism and Paul surprised us all by stating that he was pretty sure he was already baptized. Goes to show just how little I knew about him. The missionaries looked into it and sure enough when he was eight - while living with his dad he had been baptized. His father grew up LDS but shortly after Pauls' baptism he married and began attending another religion. So we finished the lessons, but still attending church was not a high priority on our list. Also in October (1993) we moved to another apartment one we picked out ourselves. When we moved it was easy to choose not to go, since nobody really knew we were there. During one of the lessons with the missionaries, we were looking up scriptures, and one of the missionaries was using a Book of Mormon of mine and as we opened up to a scripture he discovered $5. I had put in there many years before. I had long forgotten it. But It was blessing at the time. I don't think I have to tell you that it is not easy to live, pay your bills, and think about a soon to be born baby when only one income is coming in and the income is at Wendy's. I felt blessed.
In September Paul moved from the night shift to the day shift and he began his Senior year of High school. It was a far from ideal situation, but we were determined that it could be done. So for the last 2 months of my pregnancy he got up at 6 AM to go to work, would run home to eat dinner with me at about 3 - 4 then had to be at school from 5 to 9 PM. Often when he'd get home I'd beg to head out to go somewhere, anywhere...we only had one car and since I spent long days at home I was roaring to go. No matter how tired he was he would take me.

Getting Married

Since Paul and I knew long before everyone else, we had time to decide our plans, before anyone else could make any input. We had not set a date, but we knew we were getting married. At first my Mom was all for getting married - the proper thing to do. But after thinking about it she realized there were other options and encouraged me to think about them. Adoption. I did what I was told and agreed to talk with someone, but I never seriously considered anything else. At 18 I didn't need permission from anyone else to get married, but Paul did. His mother was on and off for and against it. Finally she did sign for him to get married, but only if she could keep the license in her safe. She continued to go back and forth on whether we could get married or not. Finally we set the date for the 10th of July. I borrowed a dress from a friend and set up a simple wedding in my grandparents back yard.
Another stipulation Paul's mom put on us, was that she had found an apartment for us to rent around the corner from her and she would let us get married if we rented that apartment. I was willing to do anything (although we also knew that once it was all said and done we'd begin the search for a new place).
The wedding almost didn't happen, we had gone grocery shopping for our house on the eve of the wedding and Paul got home late. His Mom got mad, grounded Paul and said the wedding was off. Even made him sleep in the living room so he couldn't sneak out. I know that it must have been a blessing from my Father in Heaven, because Paul showed up with his family when he was suppose to and we were happily married.

Honesty

Growing up in a Mormon community but being different was difficult for me. My parents were divorced and I never felt like I fit in, and I continually craved attention, mostly I got the wrong kind. Which led me to make a few bad choices, of which I take full responsibility for. Paul became my everything, and I think I became his. His childhood was filled with difficulty. His Mom left him with his Dad when he was 9 months old. We joke now about it that she ran away with the circus - but she really did. It was just him and his dad until about the age of 8 or 9 and then his father remarried and his step-mom brought 3 boys of her own into the family. And later together they had a baby girl. Again I won't go into the details, but life was hard with this new situation and Paul eventually went up to live with his Mother in Idaho. Together Paul and I found what we were looking for peace, love, and acceptance.
In early March (1993) I suspected I was pregnant I took a home pregnancy test and it was confirmed. However I waited a month until my birthday the 1st of April when I would turn 18 to go to the health department to officially take one there. I was not sure what would happen, if anything, if I was not 18. I figured if I was 18 then I would be an adult and I would get to call the shots. I guess I thought they might call my mom (now how mature is that?). I knew the choice I was making was not right, but I was only thinking of myself, something I was and still am good at.
Because I was never good at confrontation and I new it would hurt my mom; I wrote her a long letter telling her everything. We had a birthday dinner for me and had invited my uncle and aunt over. I had it planned that Paul would be at this dinner and after dinner I left the note on her pillow and Paul and I went out on a 'date'. Really he just took me over to my friends house. I told mom in the letter where I would be, but that I felt we should wait till morning to talk calmly. Something we weren't good at during my teen years.
The next morning my aunt picked me up and we went for a walk around the river to talk, and then she took me home to face reality. I was a senior, I had 3 months of school left. I would be 5 months along when I graduated, if I still graduated. And Paul well he was still a junior. He still had his whole senior year to do. His family took things a little easier. His family's lifestyle was completely opposite from mine. But it was a shock for everyone still.

Dating

Dating was kind of difficult, Paul worked as many hours as he could, he liked work better than his home life. Home life for him was not pleasent, but it is what it is and he's moved on, so I won't go into all that here. However when he was off his Mother need him to drive her where she wanted to go and so most of our dating took place at work. It made working fun knowing that he'd be there, and any chance we got we'd take our breaks together. 30 minutes in the back of the fast food restaurant is where I learned to love Paul. He was really funny once you broke through his barrier and got to know him. No, he wasn't just funny because I was infatuated with him, he's still a really funny guy to this day. He brings the laughter and joy into our home, his girls have picked up on his funny ways and I love that. We did get to go to another dance, my Senior Prom (can't remember when it was I'll have to look it up). And every now and then we got to hang out outside of work. But most of our time together was working together.
I;m not proud of all the choices I made, but it is what it is and I was determined to see more of Paul so I began drive over to his school and hang out with him on his lunch breaks. I was already out of school since I was on the work release program. My school days were shorter. And yes I did cut class a few times, and so did he.

Our First Date

In September (1992) of my Senior year I got a job at Wendy's. About that very same time a guy named Paul also got a job there, he was quicker at learning how everything was suppose to be made so I relied on him quite a bit to help me make the food correctly. It was also an excellent way to get him to talk to me. He had some friends that worked there, but I could also tell he was pretty shy. It didn't take me long to decided I really liked him, but given his shyness I had to take the lead, I asked him out first. November 21st 1992 was the girls choice dance Sadie Hawkins, it was a perfect opportunity and he said yes, he'd go with me. It was fun night with a group of my friends Shaina Anderson (Marler), Annette Schwinderman (Mangleson), Tiffani Mondok () Tonya Youngerman (Nunes) and all their dates. We had dinner at Shaina's home a Spaghetti dinner but used all the wrong utensils to eat with - it was hilarious. Then off to the dance. We had fun, danced a little. I can't remember deciding we were exclusively dating, but I didn't go out with anyone else after that so we must have. That is where our story began.